A Match Into Water
by Smoshy-Timelord
Summary: Anthony doesn't know how to deal with everything that is happening. He is heartbroken and has become someone he should have never become. Will Ian and Anthony end up together or will Ian lose him forever. Ianthony. (Warning: Self-harm and suicide attempt)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Smosh. **

Anthony had recently broken up with his girlfriend. He just couldn't do it anymore, he just wasn't happy. He wouldn't be happy until he was with the one person he has loved for so long, but couldn't confess it to.

He lay on his couch staring up at the ceiling. He felt like he was drowning. Things had become so hard lately. He loved someone who was his best friend and would probably never have feelings for him, considering he was straight.

Anthony chocked back a cry as he looked at his arms. How could he have ever ended up this way? He just wished that his dreams of Ian would come true. He sat up and covered his face with his hands. He just couldn't hold back the tears anymore. It was a good thing that Ian wouldn't be home for hours to see him this way.

Ian hadn't seen the cuts or scars and Anthony was hoping to keep it that way. Hard telling how Ian would take it. Anthony headed to the bathroom where he had a razor hidden. He needed to feel something that this emotional pain. The physical pain was like a release and helped ease the pain he felt in his heart.

He inhaled and exhaled slowly as he slid the sharp, flexible, little blade across his wrist. The blood began to drip into the sink after several more strokes of the blade. That's when he heard the front door open.

'_SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT_' Anthony thought as he ran his bloody under the cold water for a few seconds until the flow of blood eased. He pulled selves of his jacket down so Ian wouldn't be able to see. He just couldn't risk him seeing this. He had never seen him this low. He never wanted him to see him this low. He couldn't let the man he loved so dearly see it.

"Anthony?" Ian called as he set the groceries down on the counter.

"Hey, Ian, I'll right there, dude." Anthony shuffled in the bathroom to collect himself. After he calmed down and hid his new cuts he head out to the kitchen.

"Hey, Anthony, want to help put the food up?" Ian asked giving him a skeptical look.

"Sure." The taller boy shrugged as he took some of the items and put them in the right places. There was a long awkward silence as they put the items away.

"So I had a new idea for a video," the shorter one piped up as they continued.

They discussed making another Pokémon in real life or more Smosh Libs. They enjoyed doing those videos so much.

"Anthony?" Ian asked gently as the finished and went to sit down and watch some movie.

"Yeah?" he replied as he tried to avoid eye contact. He couldn't really stand to look at after what he had just done.

"Is there something wrong with you?" Ian questioned him, raising an eyebrow while waiting for him to look him in the eye.

"Um, yeah dude. I'm just still a little torn up about the break up is all," Anthony quickly replied avoiding eye contact at all cost.

"Anthony, don't lie to me and for fucks sake look at me," He hissed at Anthony as he grabbed his arm roughly.

"Ouch! Keep your motherfucking hands off of me!" he blurted out in pain. Ian had just grabbed where he had cut.

Ian looked hurt and let go of his arm as he stepped back.' _I didn't mean to hurt him. I just know he's lying about this,' _Ian thought.

"I'll be in my room if you need me…" Anthony replied as he looked down at the ground and headed to his room.

Ian sat down and began watching a movie he had seen for a 5 time this week. He just needed to find something to get his mind off of Anthony. He hated when he got mad at him. All Ian wanted to do was make him happy. He loved seeing him smile and laugh, it always made his day.

When Ian woke up it was around 9. Anthony probably wasn't up yet so he decided to fix breakfast as an apology. He wanted to make it up for accidently hurting him yesterday.

After everything was made he went to the bathroom. Ian had a throbbing headache and went to retrieve the Tylenol. _Fuck, that bottle was brand-new! Where could they have gone?_ Ian thought to himself as he looked down and spotted a little glinting piece of metal… A razor?

What was a razor doing here? What was going on? Suddenly Ian's throat went dry. '_What if… oh god. Oh dear god I'm going to get sick.'_

Ian ran to Anthony's bedroom. Anthony was lying on his bed and an empty bottle of Tylenol was lying on the floor next to him. As Ian panicked, he called 911. He would be damned if he lost his best friend and the love of his life. If Anthony made it through this he was going to finally tell him how he felt about him.

It had been about two weeks since the incident and since Anthony was coming home today he decided it was time to tell him how he felt. He couldn't hold it back.

Anthony sighed as he watched out the window as him and Ian neared the house when Anthony finally spoke up. "When we get to the house we need to talk, Anthony."

All he could do was nod, due to the fact that he was terrified about what Ian could possibly want to talk to him about. Did he find out his feelings for him?

They got home and Anthony instantly went and sat down on the couch as he tried to show no signs that he was a nervous wreck.

Ian walked over and sat next to him. He gently spoke looking down at his hands. "I think it's time I tell you this. Even if you stop talking to me or stop being my friend, I have to tell you. I can't hide this anymore."

Anthony's heart leaped into his throat with every word the bowl haired boy said. The only thing he could manage was a small nod.

"Anthony…" Ian paused and the continued " I love you…"


	2. Chapter 2

Had Anthony heard him right? Just above a whisper he stutters "Wh-what?"

"I love you Anthony. I know you probably don't feel the same way, but I had to tell you. I can't hide it anymore." Ian replied as he grabbed Anthony's mutilated arm and softly placed a kiss on it.

Anthony didn't say anything as a reply; instead he gently caressed Ian's cheek and gently kissed him. It took Ian a few minutes to realize what was happening. He then gently started to kiss back, but things quickly began to heat up.

Ian ran his fingers through Anthony's hair as he pulled him closer. They had never felt anything more right. Anthony began to bite and nip down Ian's neck as Ian scratched Anthony's back. Ian could feel that he and Anthony were both getting hard.

"Your bed or mine?" Ian asked as Anthony continued.

Between bites Anthony replied, "Yours, please?"

They stood up and headed to Ian's bedroom. When they got there Anthony pushed Ian back on to his bed as he climbed on top of him as he used a hand to rub Ian's erection through his jeans. Ian moaned a little into his ear. "Oh god, Anthony!"

Anthony unbuttoned Ian's jeans and pulled them and his boxers down as his dick stood at attention. He slowly licked from base to tip eliciting moans from Ian. Anthony wrapped his hand around the base as he took the head into his mouth and began to suck and swirl his tongue around the tip.

Countless swear words and 'Anthony's fell from Ian's mouth. He seemed to really be enjoying this. Ian wrapped his fingers in the emo boys hair causing to take more into his mouth.

Anthony stopped and told him to strip the rest of the way as he went and got something from his room. When he returned Ian was naked on the bed. "Damn, Ian, you're so hot," remarked as he stripped, too.

"On your hands and knees, please?" he asked sweetly. Ian quickly obeyed.

Anthony lubed his dick and positioned himself at Ian's entrance. "Now when it starts hurting tell me, baby?" Anthony asked sweetly as he kissed Ian's shoulder. After Ian gave a nod, Anthony slowly slid in trying to make the pain as minimal as possible. He would hate to hurt Ian.

A painful burning sensation surged through Ian, but he wasn't going to tell Anthony because he knew the pain would subside. Anthony began slowly at first still making sure not to hurt him.

Soon the pain subsided and the air became filled with the sounds of their moans. Anthony hit Ian's prostate which caused Ian to moan loudly. "Oh my god, Anthony, faster, please?" Ian gripped the sheets as Anthony obeyed. Anthony leaned over, grabbed Ian's dick, and began to jerk him off in time with his thrust.

"Oh, fuck, Ian you feel amazing." Anthony moaned as he came. It wasn't long until Ian was cumming.

Anthony pulled out, and after removing the soiled sheet, they laid down next to each other and held each other. Anthony breathed in Ian's ear "I love you, too, Ian."

With that they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms.

**So please review? This was my first fanfiction of this kind. Tell me what you think and if I should write more? Thank you :) **


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